What if you do a Google image search for sunrises and sunsets? After looking at hundreds of pictures what will you see? Can you actually tell the difference between a sunrise and sunset? Perhaps there is something about a sunset that makes it look different, or maybe it is something about you that you see a picture of the sun on the horizon and it seems like a sunset but maybe it is not.
We all see the world through our own lens according to how we think and feel, or what our attitude is. Maybe what we see is not what we think it is. Maybe we need to ask ourselves how our minds are shaping our perceptions.
We all need someone to challenge our assumptions sometimes, even though we may not realize it or want it. Sometimes a good friend or caring parent is there for us. Sometimes we hear from a co-worker or a neighbor.
There are times though, when we need more expert help in the process of looking within ourselves and uncovering the things that need attention. Healing within so that we can see more clearly the way ahead is hard work. It is also some of the most important and rewarding work there is. Do you need a guide on a healing journey?
– by Anthea Isaacs Marymount University Forensic Psychology Intern
Within smaller communities it is harder to receive information on mental health resources. That is why in Loudoun County, VA, the first annual Hopefest: Health and Wellness Fair 2016 was held. The fair included various mental health organizations within the are so the community could learn more about them. A few centers that took part included Loudoun Abused Women’s Shelter (LAWS), Loudoun Citizens for Social Justice, Windward Optimal Health, and Boulder Crests Retreat for Military & Veteran Wellness. These organizations and 37 others set up exhibits with information and fun activities for children. There were also panels, which consisted of mental health professionals, law enforcement, and political influences that provided information on why there is an increased need for mental health awareness.
Guest lecturers discussed drug use within the community, eating disorders, and helping veterans after they returned home. The suicide awareness and prevention panel which included Suzie Bartel, Dr. Sherry Molock, and Susan McCormick was of most interest to me. Suzie Bartel is the president of the Ryan Bartel foundation created in honor of her 17 year old son that committed suicide two years ago. Dr. Molock is the director of clinical training in the department of psychology at George Washington University and works with churches to increase the awareness of suicide among teens. A short video that displayed several teens who shared how suicidal thoughts can affect an individual was shown. Being supportive and listening to people may be way to help prevent a suicide attempt.
Ms. Bartel explained that she started the organization to prevent other parents from going through what she went through. She explains there may be signs, especially with teens, that adults must pay attention and not dismiss as a phase. Dr. Molock explained the importance of the church in being more accepting and less condemning of those with suicidal thoughts. She explained how she works with churches to incorporate more open talks among teens about how they may be feeling.
The group spoke candidly about how parents and others adults could speak to those they believe are considering suicide. They explained that many who want to talk to those they believe are suicidal, think asking them if they are suicidal will put the thought in their head. It would not. Many do not ask their friends or love ones if they are suicidal because they are afraid they will make them think they are. Asking an individual if they are suicidal can be helpful to the individual. It can give them an outlet to express their feelings and not feel alone. It can be easy it is to hide from family and friends when you don’t feel good. I have seen how damaging the shock can be to family and loved ones when the choice of suicide has become final.
Teens can take breakups with friends or relationships very hard. Listening to them and being aware of changes in behavior can be helpful in noticing when something is wrong. Like teens, adults can display a change in behavior when depressed or contemplating suicide. A common behavior that can be noticed is the giving away of sentimental objects and being withdrawn. An individual may find a sense of peace when they have decided to commit suicide, which can be confusing for loved ones. The acceptance of the act seems to create a sense of calm for the individual. Those who were once irritable can all of a sudden be easygoing once they have decided to commit suicide.
I have seen how depression and the lack of communication can lead to losing someone unexpectedly. Some conversations can be very hard and sad, but showing a little support can be the difference between someone believing they shouldn’t live or they should receive help. Losing someone very close to you can be very hard to move on from. Many do not know how to ask for help and support. Being aware and there for that individual even if they may not want it could make the difference. I enjoyed how honest and up front the panelists were about a topic that many are uncomfortable to talk about. They created an awareness in me that no one should be ignored or left to go through something alone because you never know how hard it is for them.
Well it’s that time of year again. The weather in the morning is starting to be cooler kids are all starting to rustle about school supplies and new to them clothes. As a mom I’m excited and sad all at once. I’m excited because it’s a new opportunity for my daughter to make new friends and to have her try out the skills that she’s been working this summer. I am excited for her and her new venture of first grade but I must say I’m a little sad because I enjoy being with my daughter. She’s a cool kid. I like the way she interacts with her younger sister. Like just last night she dressed her up as a ladybug and then as a butterfly, and then as a baby all the things a toddler likes to be.
My first grader will be gone about 40 hours a week between the buses and the classes. 40 hours is a lot of time.
40 hours to socialize, to sit, to run, to play, to do some more sitting. I can only hope as her mom that the things that she continues to learn from my husband and I are the things that transfer over to school such as, being the kind kid, not the bully. Being the person to reach out to the new person when they may not have any new friends. Being the person to share her things as she has plenty of things. I hope she has challenges and that she learns to fail gracefully and success happily. 40 hours – I will miss her and think about her for most of it.
This summer was a different kind of summer for her. While some of her friends may have been going off to far off places and seeing Disney World, my daughter got to learn what a Staycation looked like. She got to use local pools, go to local parks, learn to cook more, learn to negotiate with her sister, learn to take walks in nature. My student loans for my doctorate are absolutely daunting, so my daughter got the opportunity to learn what it was like to have to make choices and to continue to save up for the things that she thinks someday she might really want.
If I had it to do over again I’m still very glad I have my doctorate. A part of me wishes that the timing didn’t collide while I had my children. That’s the part I can’t do over. The nights that I studied that I can’t get back, the weekends that I wrote, the time I now need to work to pay it all off. I value education very much and am thankful that my first grader has access to a safe, wonderful, fair environment to launch her education with as well. I can’t begin to instill in a first grade girl how neat it is that she has the opportunity to discover whom she is becoming in as much of an equal environment as humanly possible to provide to her.
So that’s how I feel about first grade starting next week. I already know she will not be on the same bus as her best friend. She will not be in the same classroom as the other three kids she knows from last year. I’m going to let that unfold and for her to discover on Friday so that she can see who she can become without me influencing everything. The hardest part is the letting go as our kids grow. I watch and listen to parents sending their students off to college. It is about really remembering we are there for their guidance, we are there for mentoring, we are there to give them boundaries, but really the rest is all theirs not ours. I’m so lucky to be a parent and so lucky to be a parent of two very cool kids.
Happy School Year!